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’ The kitchen was immaculate – not a sign of a dirty dish or anything out of place. Even the mauve bra and bikini pants and a flimsy night-dress o... a clothes horse against the glass door opening on to a balcony were neatly arranged, signalling that even if Kirsty were a slut at least she was a tidy slut. Slut? He felt guilty as if he’d brutalised her mentally. The woman was entitled to earn a living the way she chose, and at least she was not trolling the streets as far as he knew. Would she be. Our eyes locked and then I saw it... For fuck’s sake! He’s got that same goddamned look of trauma I’d seen in others who’d had close calls on the trails. I hated that look for it made a man useless to the rest of us.“It’s okay if you want to avoid the river,” I offered reassuringly. “Nobody will hold it against you, but you still have to pull your weight.”“I understand,” Paul said with his mouth but his body language sung a different tune.This filled me with concern for I’d been on cattle. The agony of tearing us apart. I can’t bear to think of it. I start to cry. You turn me around and envelope me. You kiss my head, cheeks, lips, eyes, and nose, anything you can get your lips on and say I know honey I know. You ask is there anything you would like me to do for you. I say, just be here. This is unlike me, the sexually rambunctious beast that I am. But now, I know love isn’t love without this. These moments. Only passing time from restlessness to sleep. But oh how much they mean. ? I tellyou then, that you have to earn privileges like having a shower indoors, andblankets for your bed, by learning quickly and doing jobs to my satisfaction.??? Then I remove your chains and allow you toget dressed in a t-shirt and jeans. Then I put the chains back on you and you follow me backinto the kitchen where you quietly ask me what I would like for breakfast.? I am impressed at your attempt to please mebut I am not going to let you know that.?So instead I reply ?next time you fail.
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